The Way Home
- Blog opened to public: December 9, 2007
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FYI -

- Generally, entry titles in parentheses are titles which I did not come up with at the time I wrote the original entry.
- Often, if the time is listed as 6:09, it's a guess.
- With very few exceptions, entries with only a compressed time and date as the title are journal entries, e-mails, or other writing which had not been previously read by very many others.

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The Way Home

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The Way Home

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I am Follows Ravens, and I have been using this given name online, and often offline, since the middle of 1999. Most notably online, I used it at rs creations' Were board, the original Pathway to Darkness Vampire forums, and at many, many "ezBoards" (including my own) . Before me, no one else carried this name. Until recently, I've not known of anyone else using it.

I do not appreciate that someone is now using my name as an RP name. I am not an RP character. I am a real person. Too, I do not appreciate having my reputation as a genuine person being any further marred, especially after going through what I did within the various online communities over the course of the years.

I am he who follows ravens. Online it's "Follows Ravens" or FollowsRavens. The name, "Follows Ravens" was given to me by some very, very "powerful spirits" and I consider it to be my "Spiritual" name.

I just wanted to make myself clear on that.

As for my name... well... It's a given name, given to me from the spirits which surround me. Actually I've spent a great deal of time and energy attempting to discover its meaning for myself. Wolves follow Ravens, and in that it makes sense, as I do have Wolf spirit in me... too though, I've come to realize that I am also that which I follow.

As to where they're leading me... Where am I going? Well... Hopefully they're leading me in the right direction. Hopefully I'm leading myself to where I am meant to be... on all levels.

Truth. The way I see it, Truth is transient. It's not that what you thought to be true wasn't... it's just that it changed over time. Growth seems to do that, make truth seem like a lie sometimes. When I'm happy, I tend not to analyze things as much, I seem to just accept them as reality, no questions asked. When I'm not happy, I question things a lot because I'm not satisfied with the way things are. When I desire change, I look for the things that seem "off" somehow, so that I know where to start with changing.

I don't think that hardening is the answer, although it's always an option. (Sort of like suicide.) I think that becoming callous and putting up walls is letting "them" win. To keep an open heart during times of pain is, well... damn painful, but growth and becoming stronger usually are painful processes. Keeping the heart open always gets my vote for the best path to travel.

I believe that both hate and rage serve a purpose. They let you know when it's time to change something about your life or current situation. They seem to serve as a pointer, telling you what to focus on, what things you need to look at within and/or outside of yourself. Sometimes, I think, one just needs to be really pissed off for a while. Feeling is never wrong, it's just the actions which go along with feeling that can be questionable at times. I think that maybe the best way to find peace is to allow yourself to feel the rage and hate, then to find an outlet - like talking or writing or beating up an inanimate object or even screaming at the source sometimes (if you can pin it down and it seems open to hearing you out.) Once feelings are expressed, they seem to change or grow - for better or for worse - so sometimes expressing hate and rage can lead to feeling a bit more peaceful.

"Evil" is a moral construct. The things which are called evil vary from person to person. Some days I see humanity as evil (including myself) and then some days I don't. On those days I just see it as humanity; it's not good, not bad, it just is, whether I like it or not; and who am I to judge it anyway? It depends on if I really believe in evil at that particular moment. Either way though, evil or not, it's not for me to rid the world of anything. It's only for me to rid myself of the evil I feel inside of me, and for me to evolve into a better being than I was a minute ago. "Better" meaning happier and more content with myself.

Lay me down and roll me out to sea.
Wondering if anyone else under 35 really likes Barry Manilow.
  Think that Rolaids really go with beer?
We had the right love at the wrong time.
Last night I waved goodbye... now it seems years...
Do you remember...

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!