Well, it's been 4 years now, and the way I do things, after 4 years I can "graduate". With 13,558 hits which I could actually count and 2,120 posts published, I think that I can call the "project" a success. What now though? Do I just abandon the whole thing?
Maybe I should just take some time off for a while ...give it some thought. Maybe just slow down for a while.
"The Way Home" is now up to 2,080 entries, with 2,844 entries in the unedited version. This time next month will be the four year mark of making the project public. Perhaps by then I will have figured out what I'm going to do next.
In the unedited version of The Way Home, there are 2,776 entries, which cover June of 1999 through June of 2008. More is still being added in, almost daily. The now public version consists of 2,009 entries, covering June of 1999 through February of 2006, also with entries added in daily. Whether or not I make public or republish the post June 5, 2008 writing is under consideration, but already there are 283 entries ready for final edit.
At this point, "The Way Home " is 1,979 total blog entries comprised of the writing I did, mostly online, from June 1999 through January of 2006 . The blog/project was made public on July 27, 2007 and has had 11,974 direct hits, excluding my own.
1,947 posts are up , but that number doesn't mean much at this point, as I'm only adding in one post a day, albeit comprised of multiple old entries and other bits of writing. In that time line, it is about to turn over to 2006. I dare say that 2006 was my most prolific year, but it was also the most difficult to survive. It was the year I lost the ability to effectively do my most important job .
2,728 posts are now up, but within a couple of months I'll have to shift gears a bit, as it goes from 2005 to 2006. I have little choice, as there's simply too much to add in. That said though, I will be keeping the "story" going ...as best as I can. So make yourselves comfortable, the party's just beginning.
1,597 entries are now up. I'm trying to shift gears with it all, trying to get back to the original idea for the project, trying to catch up with myself.
I'm 41 years old. Time to give myself a damn break already.
1,573 posts are up now. I suppose that it's my senior year at Blogspot University. Perhaps this year will go a little differently. I suppose anything can happen.
There are now 1,539 entries up . I really don't have any idea how many, if any, people are really reading. It's thankless, and I'm getting too old for this shit.
1,215 entries have been posted, covering 6/5/99 through 5/26/04 1459 entries are still pending, covering 5/27/04 through 6/5/08
This is the last TWH progress report which I will do at the age of thirty-anything, and too, in a matter of weeks, I will have, indeed, spent the entirety of my thirties on the internet. *hands Jesus a tissue*
1,184 entries have been posted, covering 6/5/99 through 4/26/04 1476 entries are still pending, covering 4/27/04 through 6/5/08
I back dated the disclaimer post, which I wrote this month, to 6/5/99 , because that was the actual date on which this whole Internet adventure of mine began. ...for the the record.
The blog itself is now more than a year old. 594 entries have been posted, covering 7/1/99 through 10/10/03 1602 entries are still pending, covering 10/11/03 through 6/5/08
Blog opened to the public: December 9, 2007 Entries posted: 534, covering July 1, 1999 - September 12, 2003 Entries currently pending public release or re-release: 1520, covering September 13, 2003 - June 05, 2008
Beginning in June of 1999, circumstances in my life all but confined me to cyberspace. "The Way Home", as a collection of much of the online (and a bit of the offline) writing I've done since then, tells the whole story, and then some. The more you read (actually read, not speed-read or skim) of it, especially if you read the entries in chronological order, from start to finish, the more you'll not only understand the "point" of the project, but also (I dare say) learn a few things... about me, about life, and about your own self. I can be pompous about it. I more than earned the right to be.
Progress Report
The Way Home - Blog opened to public: December 9, 2007 (Click here to subscribe, above to just start reading.)
Entries pending - 1,473 Entries now posted - 432 Time now covered: 7/1/99 - 12/29/02
- Generally, entry titles in parentheses are titles which I did not come up with at the time I wrote the original entry. - Often, if the time is listed as 6:09, it's a guess. - With very few exceptions, entries with only a compressed time and date as the title are journal entries, e-mails, or other writing which had not been previously read by very many others.
I am Follows Ravens, and I have been using this given name online, and often offline, since the middle of 1999. Most notably online, I used it at rs creations' Were board, the original Pathway to Darkness Vampire forums, and at many, many "ezBoards" (including my own) . Before me, no one else carried this name. Until recently, I've not known of anyone else using it.
I do not appreciate that someone is now using my name as an RP name. I am not an RP character. I am a real person. Too, I do not appreciate having my reputation as a genuine person being any further marred, especially after going through what I did within the various online communities over the course of the years.
I am he who follows ravens. Online it's "Follows Ravens" or FollowsRavens. The name, "Follows Ravens" was given to me by some very, very "powerful spirits" and I consider it to be my "Spiritual" name.
As for my name... well... It's a given name, given to me from the spirits which surround me. Actually I've spent a great deal of time and energy attempting to discover its meaning for myself. Wolves follow Ravens, and in that it makes sense, as I do have Wolf spirit in me... too though, I've come to realize that I am also that which I follow.
As to where they're leading me... Where am I going? Well... Hopefully they're leading me in the right direction. Hopefully I'm leading myself to where I am meant to be... on all levels.
Truth. The way I see it, Truth is transient. It's not that what you thought to be true wasn't... it's just that it changed over time. Growth seems to do that, make truth seem like a lie sometimes. When I'm happy, I tend not to analyze things as much, I seem to just accept them as reality, no questions asked. When I'm not happy, I question things a lot because I'm not satisfied with the way things are. When I desire change, I look for the things that seem "off" somehow, so that I know where to start with changing.
I don't think that hardening is the answer, although it's always an option. (Sort of like suicide.) I think that becoming callous and putting up walls is letting "them" win. To keep an open heart during times of pain is, well... damn painful, but growth and becoming stronger usually are painful processes. Keeping the heart open always gets my vote for the best path to travel.
I believe that both hate and rage serve a purpose. They let you know when it's time to change something about your life or current situation. They seem to serve as a pointer, telling you what to focus on, what things you need to look at within and/or outside of yourself. Sometimes, I think, one just needs to be really pissed off for a while. Feeling is never wrong, it's just the actions which go along with feeling that can be questionable at times. I think that maybe the best way to find peace is to allow yourself to feel the rage and hate, then to find an outlet - like talking or writing or beating up an inanimate object or even screaming at the source sometimes (if you can pin it down and it seems open to hearing you out.) Once feelings are expressed, they seem to change or grow - for better or for worse - so sometimes expressing hate and rage can lead to feeling a bit more peaceful.
"Evil" is a moral construct. The things which are called evil vary from person to person. Some days I see humanity as evil (including myself) and then some days I don't. On those days I just see it as humanity; it's not good, not bad, it just is, whether I like it or not; and who am I to judge it anyway? It depends on if I really believe in evil at that particular moment. Either way though, evil or not, it's not for me to rid the world of anything. It's only for me to rid myself of the evil I feel inside of me, and for me to evolve into a better being than I was a minute ago. "Better" meaning happier and more content with myself.
Well, who am I? ********* Lesson number one; Love hurts. ********* Lies hurt. ********* I need to feel needed. ********* I have this horrible feeling of being lost, of reaching out for someone I've yet to find. ********* How does one stop feeling? ********* Cry my tears of blood. ********* Why the hell am I reaching out for something I know I can't find? ********* Maybe this pain is what's meant by "growing up". ********* The price you pay for getting everything you've always wanted is the fear of losing it. ********* The further I go into myself, the more my conditioned brain fears insanity. ********* We create our own Gods. We call them role models. ********* So many realities to choose from. ********* To save a soul, one must only become a friend. ********* Truth changes on each tongue. ********* "Red" is within, as opposed to without. ********* To be disgusted by our own selves... that is the nature of intelligence. ********* I am my own God.
Lay me down and roll me out to sea. Wondering if anyone else under 35 really likes Barry Manilow. Think that Rolaids really go with beer? We had the right love at the wrong time. Last night I waved goodbye... now it seems years... Do you remember...
